A Catchy Little "Live Life to the Fullest" Tune

 

You can listen to the song, you may not have to read the rest of this, HA!  But like the song says....do it all....meaning Read this, too : )

Anyways,  I have been all over the place the last week.  My youngest

• made her First Communion, 
• had a lead in the school second grade play and then
• had two ballet pieces in her Dance School's Recital

What a busy seven days for her!!  (honestly, what a busy seven days for me).

What a busy seven days for the camera! HA!

A wonderful busy seven days that have been my calm before a possible storm.  I have found myself just looking at her, watching her, taking her in; seven days of pure little girl heaven at the age of seven.

Between all those happy moments  T-MAG paid me an amazing compliment the other day, he said "you should really write music."  WOW!  I love that guy.  My first song might just be about him, since my first book will not. AHAHAHA, he is a SAINT!

So, speaking of music and writing, I wrote a post the other day about how grief can grab you, remember?  You can find the post here and see, today,  I was driving one child somewhere and waiting on another some place else.  As I waited, I was flipping through the ITUNES library searching, and I stumbled on the above, a catchy "Live Life to the Fullest" tune.  I have to share it because I realized: this is the point of the message I was attempting to fight onto your screen in that recent post.  And I have to share it because, really who can't share One Republic :)  So here I say it, AGAIN, if the people we miss could come back for a few moments, what would they tell us?  I think this is what they would say.  Go ahead, click on it or play the video above, because none of this will make sense until you listen to it.  You already know that.  And you really want to listen to it, so, go on now.......

Okay, right!!....that song is like caffeine, isn't it!  Its here for when you need to drink in the life lesson of the lyrics.  You know, on those days when you are just dragging, when grief is trying to grab you and take you down. 

Listen to that song and strengthen yourself, to go: live your life.  Even with and despite the pain, the heartache, the broken bones and hearts, don't let that stop you from finding the living in LIFE, because that's what our loved ones would want us to do.  You know it!  Go do it!  Be like a seven year old, they think everything is heaven, adults should try it too.

In all my running around today, when all I could see was one more thing on my "to do" list and rain outside my window, when the fun and laughter of the events of the last week were almost forgotten, the littlest one found the rainbow at St Patrick's, ((which really still floors me that with a bazillion churches in the Archdiocese of NY, we end up at one named St Patrick's, but that's a story for another day)).

The rainbow, the song, the perspective of a seven year old, ((sigh)), life is so good, even with people we love, gone.   There is a reason you are still here.  If I were to have let grief win that war today, moping around (instead of skipping around-yes, she made me skip at one point!)  with my little girl with all that LOVE inside and outside my car....

oh, my brother would be so disappointed in me.  Maybe that idea that he might just see me and I want him to find me happy is my motivation, maybe it is the song, maybe it is my daughter, maybe it is the rainbow......what is it for you?

Go live this day, fully and completely.

  It may not be perfect, but you are human and you are alive.

You are here for a reason.  

I HOPE that you DO IT ALL : )

Happy, most of the time..,,,

If you close your eyes and imagine a loved one who has passed on, do you ever see them in pain?

Especially if they were suffering mentally or physically before they died, do you see them completely relieved of that pain?

In short, do you see them happy?

I always see the people who have left me very happy,  a happiness that is beyond what I can comprehend.  The thought or mental image always brings peace to my heart and soul.

Most of the time.

But, grief is like an unleashed Grimm's giant rearing it's unexpected, ugly, scary head.  Grief can be so self centered.   Grief makes me angry at myself sometimes, angry because death releases the person from anything that may have been holding them down.  I want to be happy for the deceased but I am so wrapped up in my own loss/my grief that I can't see straight.  I can't focus on their peaceful happiness.  I can't focus on today. 

Instead the grief giant drags me down by the weight of my own pain that I will never see someone I love,  again.  I will  never walk with them, never feel the touch of their hand on my back or my shoulder or my hand.  I will never hear their laughter, spontaneous, the way life just lifts when they laugh. Missing someone you can't see anymore is draining, exhausting and overwhelming; sometimes.

Not all the time but the reality is at times: It. Very. Much. Is.

Because, we are not perfect, we are only human.  And in our fragility, we grieve.

And so I am so very thankful for those who just listen at those times.  They don't try to fix, make light of it, makes excuses, or make anything more than:

a shoulder to cry on.

Releasing that sorrow is, as most of us know, cathartic and healing, bringing us to acute awareness, a higher healing and sometimes a loved but forgotten memory.

I usually climb out of "overwhelming grief" one step at a time.  I can't take a huge Grief Swatter and just smash the annoyance of grief.  I cant take a Griefhose and spray away, soaking it.  No, it is steps for me. Not twelve, as in the program, but steps forward and steps back:  Remember, Cry, Write, Cry, Write, Tears stop, Write, Smile, Shoulders Back, Breathing returns to normal.   Write, Remember and Reflect and Repair.  See the pattern? a step forward a step back, a step forward, forward, one back.... Until I am only going forward.

Usually what helps me climb those steps (we all need a carrot) is imagining that same person alive right now, what would they say to me?
"Oh ya!!! lay there and cry"?
"sure shuffle along and sob"

No, I think they would say.... Live like you know you will die someday.

Because you will, too.
And someone else will grieve you.
And would you want them to grieve constantly or to love and live, cry, remember?

Grief rears its giant head sometimes but it doesnt hold me back.  It may hold me down for a while, it may cause me to stumble and fall, it may ruin one occasion because I am not perfect, I am human.  However, it will not hold me forever, it will not leave me on the ground, it will not ruin every occasion.  Because I may not be perfect, but I have learned about my human strength.

And so are you.

And so are some of these most beautiful people who are living with grief like this daughter and this father and these women

It's such a catch 22, you know.

The ones who we gone before us are happy.

We can be, too!  even when or if the grief giant overwhelms you.

I have been there and I hold no judgement, and I am willing to lend a shoulder and hold your hand while you climb the steps, moving forward......

and sometimes even a song....but I won't do the singing!!!

Watch Allison Krause, Lay My Burden Down

And of course this one, too :)

Happy, the official videos

: )              :)                   :)                 :)            :)                :)