FASFA and New Year's Eve for First Time College Parents

Oh Dear 2014,

Sometimes, I do not want you to end.

Sometimes, I cannot wait for you to be over.

I am conflicted and confused and confident and courageous.  

Because I am a parent.  

Because that is how life is-- no matter who and what we are.

Click here for why We do not want the good times to end

and here for why We cannot wait for the hard times to be over.

So simple to say yet so complex to experience.

As I look back at all the joy and happiness that 2014 has brought me, I try to focus on the peace which I want to bring to everyone in 2015.  I know and believe that I must start with me and the members of the Hen Nest, 

To humor everyone; here is what I did to my husband early on this New Year's Eve Morning. Proof, you know, that I am not perfect and this is so not the way to go about making peace in our homes and relationships, 

He has a gift, a strength,  some how he looks past my irritations and reworks them  a funny reflective thought for me.  Much better than saying something that would cause a fight....for instance, he could have responded: you did not even say Good Morning!!! Which, in fact, I did not!! and he would have been so right and I would have been so upset at beig so wrong that we would have had an explosion.  Would the explosion have been about not saying Good Morning or about the stress of the cost of financing three college tuitions in the next six years? 

Humor helps, it always helps with children, especially the first child

• everything is new....
• how to get them to sleep through the night,
• how to survive fevers you never knew could be so high in such a small person,
• watching the love of your life go off to kindergarten on the school bus,
• then fast forward to driving, college visits, college acceptances, 

• and the New Years Day/FAFSA Day -- of the year leave that child leaves for college!!

Breathe, Mom!  Smile, Mom!  Laugh, Mom!

Breathe Dad, Smile, Dad! Laugh, Dad!

Breathe Baby Bird! Smile Baby Bird! Laugh, Baby Bird! 

Hope I made you laugh at my Not So Perfect way to start NYE Day!

Hope that by witnessing my "I'm human, forgive me moment" you will join me in over at the Not Perfect, Only Human NYE event #NYRP2015,

We should end this year with gratitude for the pain(s) we may have witnessed or experienced.  Why? 

We could let the pain stretch us and batter us and/or destroy us.  Leaving our relationships in ruins.

OR

We could let the pain stretch us and compliment us and/or save us.  Leaving our relationships strong.  

Love and Peace and HUMOR will always find a way with the unknown,  
a positive path that may not end where we expected it to,
but can be happy and fun while we travel.

**Peaceful 2015 to my readers, their family and friends**

This post is dedicated to my husband, my best friend, 

he is my humor and light when the world seems scary and dark.  

We have put each other through the worst at times

And found  a way to forgive each other.

We have come close to letting pain destroy us

But have gone farther and let it Save us.

I love you, Sweet"T"!!!!

Motherhood and the Delicate Balance of Joy and Worry

Being worried and Being a Mom. 

We try, right? Not to worry.

Sometimes we are successful...

Other times we are only human.  

Worry happens.

Oh the worry and concern when I realized: I was really pregnant with our little egg--a sixth pregnancy and fourth child, with our oldest already about to turn ten!

The worry of our baby bird surviving to full term?

And if so, would  I be able to balance all?

Or would our Nest crash to the ground, because of me? 

I confided to a mom friend that I was trying to balance worry and joy!

She replied confidently,  "When your oldest is 18, this new child will be your balance."

My friends words came back to me yestreday while at Build A Bear, watching pure and simple happiness unfold....

She had the BEST Helper who interacted with us the entire time.  Who pretty much had a party when the newly stuffed elephant was christened Ellie. 💕🐘

It was surreal as we stepped over to the fluffing station. Why? Here is where the worry could have infected a very happy moment.  Simultaneously, my oldest was stepping on the Ice for a game with her  team.  Returning, after a three week abscence for post concussive symptoms, my fears that she might be hit hard (again) were squelched by her sister's squeals!  as air started to fluff Elllie!  Those familiar with the making of a stuffed animal know what fun it is!

One red scarf addition later, we walked back into the mall with Ellie's "White House" Box, her 12/28/14

Birth certificate, and a huge smile

on my youngest's face.

My friend was right, lil' bird balanced me!

Momentarily, I  forgot about the concussion- all three of them.  Forgot about the two recent bouts of the boy's  flu over Christmas.  Which somehow  led to being (unexpectedly) yelled at by the coach (for having to forfeit a game due to the illnesses)).  Almost forgot missing my mother in laws 75th birthday celebration 

today because my son, the only goalie, has to be here to play for the team.  Obviously, that prevents us from making the long trip to where my MIL lives. 

(As an aside, with grandparents far away, Thank goodness for FaceTime!  When  Ice Time prevents visiting in person).

Withessing childhood happiness and delight can go a long way.........

Later, in the car, on the way to the second half of the game, I began balancing forgiving the coach's poor attitude with the happiness my kids have experienced while playing together on the same team. Bottom line, I just want to watch my big kids play the sport they love.

My big kids are learning a somewhat confusing but very important lesson: Being an adult doesn't always guarantee being mature. Life doesn't guarantee the perfect coach/teacher/parent.  They are learning to balance human imperfection with wordly expectation.  At least that is my hope!!  I balance that with the reality that far worse things could be happening right now.  What if they could not play at all?  I trust this will make them amazing adults and possibly very amazing coaches someday.

Balance comes with insuring that the youngest has innocent fun and delightful  childhood experiences similiar to her older siblings.  Which means that sometimes we are late or even miss the big kids hockey games.  While other times she misses an event so we are all together in the stands loudly cheering!

This is ALL that was on my mind when I walked through the mall!!! Really, We are rarely thinking what others think we might be thinking when we stop and ponder a possible purchase! This moment is proof, lol!!!

Balance  began with witnessing my youngest child's innocence and pure joy.

While laying aside the insanity of the last few weeks of sports, injuries, illnesses and the emotional exhaustion of raising teens. 

Life is not perfect! 

However, being with a child sometimes life comes very, very close to near perfect joy.

I Love you baby bird!

Love you all my Luvie Birds!

Thank you for the balance!

And thank you for the great day, yesterday of hockey, shopping, church and football!!

Gifting, What to Give that Will Last Forever

At this very special time of the year,  if I could give everyone one gift, it would be Unconditional LOVE of self.

Understand, You would be asked to love knowing you are not perfect because. you are only human.

However, even when we fall, love and belief and confidence can be like the rings of a ladder providing solid steps up from dark paralyzing pain into the light of love.

Of course, We can do this ourselves.  WE ARE STRONG ENOUGH, to do it alone, believe that!

Any of us who have spent a day, month, year or lifetime of sorts, beating ourselves up for our failures and our mistakes and our falls, has wasted too much time already.

Any of us who have been a parent, older sibling, aunt or uncle knows that when a child is little and falls, literally, you help by physically picking them up. As they mature, you step back and emotionally support them while they learn to pick themselves up on their own.  When unconditional love is there for that child, without judgement, the child hopefully will grow into a confident adult because they have known unconditional love.  I am not an expert but I believe this to be true.

Any of us, with a spouse,  who loves unconditionally, knows it can be life changing.  I relate it to the couple that have been married for 50 years "and never had a fight".  You know they have had a fight!  Astounding is that they were able to fight, apologize, forgive and FORGET! Leaving them with the overall feeling that they have never had a fight, because they do not remember the fights.  They remember the good times.  What a love story! Simple true and unconditional.

Life is never perfect, never really the way we think it might be.  However, what if we could

•  look past the imperfections, in ourselves and others?
•  lay aside our disputes, with ourselves and others? 
•  search out and concentrate on the good in ourselves and each other and our circumstances?
•  then forgive and forget the mistakes we and others have made?

Maybe we should start with unconditionally doing the above with ourselves!

Then with the people around us (we might have to do so from afar, to protect ourselves or children).  

**I do not recommend anyone staying in a fearful situation.  I am not saying that you if you are being harmed, you should forgive and go back for more.  I am saying that you should forgive and forget to free yourself of the pain of the past. Once you forgive a person, your free to start living your life.**

What happens when we forgive ourselves and others?

We set ourselves free.   

We leave ourselves open to the positive side of life.

  

We leave ourselves open to love without conditions.

We become content with far less than we ever thought we would need to be content.

My gift for you, starts with you.
                           These words could be a catalyst to change within you:

Love yourself, unconditionally. You are not perfect, you are only human.
       You were meant to be loved.  Be content with that! and who knows where it will take you.

Go check out my Facebook Blog Page appropriately named: Not Perfect Only Human.

Check back there or here and let me know if you accepted my gift and where it brought you.

Peace!