What is with the Name?

 I have been asked, via email....why the name of this blog? Why: "Not Perfect, Only Human"?

First, to beg, I would like to say, please (okayyyyyy!!! prettttttyyyyyy pleassssssssssssse!!!!) Leave Comments, start a discussion, really, it is what I want.  I love meeting new people, hearing ideas and relating to each others lives and lessons so Comment Away!!!  This is really my reason for blogging, not to talk at you but to share with you.

Second, to answer the question, well I believe, that the name sums up where I am right now.  You will find dishes in my sink, dust on my furniture, a checkbook that doesn't always balance, dents in my car, nails that are not polished and oh my goodness sometimes there is actually lipstick on my teeth..ewwww!!  Really hate when I do not take the time to check that mirror!!!  It is a Simple little habit, but  like praying a decade a day, it is still a  habit I am trying to perfect.

And, oh wow, underneath THAT less than perfect exterior is an interior that is (as you might have guessed) far from perfect,too.

Life has come along and stacked some "dishes" in the sink of my mind, left some dusties that are called memories.  The memories which do not always balance with lessons learned or actual events that occurred.

My feelings have been "parked too close to someone" and have been dented deep when the door to their Judgement has swung open wide and just hit me, hard.

And, as much as I try, every once in a while there might be an event that comes along and gets stuck "in there", in my insides, in my heart and my soul and my thoughts and my ideas.....and just like that lipstick stuck on my teeth, it is SO ugly and noticeable to everyone; except me.  I cannot see it and do not take the time to check on it, in the mirror of prayer.  So, it just sits there and makes everyone a little uncomfortable you know.  They may be unsure whether to say something or not, to point it out or not.

I think most of us really appreciate it when someone takes the time to show genuine concern, not to be confused with spiteful obviousness judgement.   We are grateful to the certain someone who summons the courage to take us aside and gently remind us to take some time to look inside ourselves,  Especially, when they offer a cup of tea to help soften the news:)

A year ago,  I was fortunate enough to meet a woman who did not let me walk into a  meeting with lipstick on my teeth. UGGGHHHH!!!  It is just uncomfortable when you present yourself like that and have no idea!

Let me set the imperfect scene:  I had stepped out of my dented car and forgot that habit of checking the mirror because I was lost in my happiness at seeing her!  Although I liked this woman for many reasons and wanted a friendship to blossom, I couldn't make friendship happen just because I wanted it.  She made it happen when she rooted us with trust and concern and care.  She was uncomfortable with what she had to tell me, I noticed that, but she knew that my embarrassment would be far greater than hers; so she just said it: "uh, um, you have some of that beautiful lipstick, on your, ummm, teeth there".  She waited to make sure I was presentable and we laughed together walking through the parking lot.  A really nice memory.

So to answer the question, my blog name is an attempt to find others like me, in a world where people are paid millions to Be Perfect, To Be Flawless; I am just trying to be as Blessed Mother Teresa says "A Pencil in God's Hands".....a pencil, not a pen because Pencils come with erasers :)

God Bless!

An Everlasting Life-giving Gift

Pulling this post out of the rafters and down onto the shelf to enjoy this Advent as we prepare for the Prince of Peace.

I still remember the words that shook my school age skin.

"Christmas is not the MOST important Holy Day....EASTER has that title"

What?? Tell, me NO!!!??

But she continued, little Sister Anita, dressed in a traditional  habit that seemed too black, too heavy and too long for her petite 4"10" frame.  

"God, the Father, created earth in seven days, he created everything on it, He could have choose to create Christ and the story of Salvation in an entirely different fashion than as a child born to a mother." She paused, and I remember the pause, because I was hanging on to every word she said. 

This was Christmas after all - the windfall in my home, the holiday that I looked forward to the minute the day  rolled over to Dec 26th. Yes, the waiting started immediately each year.  Do you remember that feeling?  I was maybe in 7th or 8th grade, "my world" consisted of the desire to shave my legs, to have the clothes that my friends had, and to get the attention of that certain guy... OK, I realize now he was a kid.but to me, then,  he was a Guy;).CAPITAL G kinda guy, like we were almost grown up or something.

Back to little Sister Anita.....She paused.....Although, now, I realize that maybe the pause was truly for effect but maybe it was to think about what it would have been like to know Motherhood?

She boomed her petite voice as boomingly (word??) as possible: "Easter is the most important holiday, Easter brought all of us back to LIFE, to HEAVEN, to our future beyond this world as we know."

No more pauses, immediately she went back to the English lesson.

She was our Sentence Structure mixed in with Life Structure. 

Easter, the most important holiday, really?  Grade School Reality check: the world is bigger than my home and this classroom?  Amazing to me!  I learned the "wildest" things when I switched from a Public Middle School to a Parochial School for three years.  The wildest things that played over and over in my mind and in my heart.  The wildest things that saved me from loosing myself to the empty promises of the wild teenage life.  

I learned that Christ's Gift of Salvation is the most important detail of our life here on earth   He came for ALL, not just one, not just a certain group, not just for a certain number (those are all Biblical interpretations gone bad). 

He came for ALL that who so every chooses to OPEN the gift, UNWRAP it - layer after layer every year of their life, learning TRUST in God goes hand in hand with LOVE for God; may have eternal LIFE, with HIM-- the gift giver :)

This is the little church that was attached to the little school that I learned that little tidbit of information in my little town.  I wish I had a picture of Sister Anita instead!  However, I can still picture her in that church, kneeling in devout prayer at the school masses.  ((I noticed her, noticing me, when I was looking around trying to see if "the Guy!" was noticing me)).  She would catch my eye and I would catch my breathe, waiting for a look of condemnation, a sneer or glare.  But she would just bow her head again and continue to pray (probably for all of us, her students).  She set such a perfect example of Living faith. (( Secretly, I wished I could have her for confession...hahahaha!!!)) 

 I learned so much from her and the little pearls of Catholic faith that she threw out in between our English lessons.  

I am not perfect, I am only human.  I have taken the gift(s) that Christ has so openly given me, and threw them to the ground in anger and defeat and raw pain.  But all I have to do is step back into a church and see him there on the crucifix and then I know, He is the Gift Giver. He is God, and I am Only Human.  I am so very not perfect and He LOVES me anyways.  Thank God :)

Happy Gift Giving to each other.  

Red, Pink and All those other LOVELY Colors

Sharing the love, lots of it. 

The Love of Memories:
My teenage daughter has told me that this day is actually called SAD (Single Awareness Day).  I remembered this, a tattered and frayed memory from those High School Years.  Honestly,I wish I could forget again because REALLY!!! all the memories I have from High School only bring a smile to my face, amazing friends, fun times and never any tears.....it is amazing what we can convince our brains to put in the forefront of our heads, right?  Because, I know there was pain somewhere along the way but what comes to mind initially is Marianne, always there with a smile that looks just like her daughter's, Shelly and pickles on salad; Marcy and her white car; Jen and lunches on the steps; Jill and always a thought that made the world seem bigger than our school (which of course, it was) and Kathy and the many, many rides on the yellow school bus.  I love those girls : )  But, recently, since the realm of High School has begun, my kids will say  a certain word, an expression, or there will be a look in their eyes that brings back the fuzzy painful.  I let it out long enough to remember the lesson that was learned, pass on my thoughts and then I squash it again.  That was then, now is well, now.   As my dear friend from the age of 13 relates "it would be so nice to have our 44 year old self visit our 16 year old self and give some advice, like in the movies." Thank you, Marianne!

So, Saint Valentine can you intercede for the many High School girls, our daughters, who will not be walking around with dozens of those (fundraiser) pink carnations?  Can you give a shout out to our sons, too?  You know, the ones who have put their academic records above the popularity contests.  Because they could use a little or a lot of love today...honestly, I am never sure which one, sometimes I think I know but most the times, well you can never really be sure with teens...sometimes I get it right and sometimes, I find myself explaining that I am just trying to get it all right and the bottom line is that I just really, really love them so much.

My thoughts when I get to a typing away are all over the place, like my hands when I speak...all over the place! Kinda of like my first blog post here!  Getting back to the title:

The Love of Red Food:

There is an aspect of this day that I truly detest and it is the food colorings...you know the colors that make the treats and the drinks and the foods look so festive and but really fake.  They are laden with chemicals, artificial creations, that are terrible for our intestines and for our kiddos, they are just plain bad.  Festive Food or Serious Side Effects, you decide.

I learned this when my little ones were (actually) little.  Well, I wish I had learned everything that night.  In reality, that night marked the official launch of my ship into uncharted waters....looking for a path through the chemicals in our foods.  

Valentines a few years back:  My husband came home with a cupcake piled to the ceiling for EACH child.  Dessert that topped off a day of three solid meals of chocolate, sugary, powdery, absurdly colored treats.  I think one cupcake to share among a 2, 3 and 5 year old would have been plenty but I didn't want to be the Wicked Valentine Wrecker so there we were watching them eat the Reddest Icing created.  Just the icing, not much cake.  Six hours later, welcomed sleep was interrupted with simultaneous vomiting by all three of those little people. Valentine's Sleep interrupted!!

The next day was like working through a hangover and the next three weeks were filled with rashes on the faces and tummies that remained sensitive to anything stronger than broth.  I felt terrible.  I had a strong feeling that maybe, just maybe, it wasn't the food but what was added to the food that caused the craziness.  

Today my younger child will have lots of Valentines treats, my older children are a bit wiser and I am picky about the things we choose to make food Red.  We used raspberries and strawberries for the breakfast drinks this morning.  We will top the homemade cakes with more red fruit selections tonight.  There can be reds and pinks, maybe not as vibrant as the FDC Numbers but definitely much safer.  Personally, I don't think any of us want to intentionally share known carcinogens with our loved ones on this day of love.

Can I tell you how happy I was when I received a note from my kindergartner's teacher that there was not going to be a huge Valentine's Party today?  Maybe she follows this website, too. I know we will have to patch up the pieces of this day for a week or more.  There will be snacks munched before she arrives home and more offered today and tonight.  Sigh! I guess I  wish everyone would read my Blog and the links in it and eat healthier : )   Let's try to do something about all this!  My mom always said I ask for far too much, hahahaha!  But, I will still hope that at least a few will take heed because I believe, with all my heart, that we love each other very much...otherwise, why would a day all about LOVE in the middle of February be so Celebrated? 

And when you babies are in overdrive as the day wears on and the food continues, Remember that much valued verse....Love is Patient, Love is Kind (St Timothy's Letter to the church in Corinth)

Need someone to Love today...send some LOVE this Way!!!

Tebow and Teresa

 Calling attention to a story I heard this week about Blessed Mother Teresa's life:

The Story

Mother Teresa went into a local bakery to ask the owner if he would share his day old bread with the poor.  The baker sized up the crinkled, stooped woman in robes and he was repulsed by her begging.  Taking a bite of one of those day old breads, he chewed it up in his mouth, mixing it with the juice of his saliva and then spit it on Mother Theresa as she stood there, waiting.  Humbly, she said: Thank you, sir, for my portion, may I please have the rest of the bread for the poor.  

Try to imagine this baker as he hears her words!  (No doubt in my mind he would have heard much different from me).  Can you believe that he ended up giving her everything he had and became one of her regular donors?

The Similarities (stick with me, here)

First, Tim Tebow,  (in the larger game of life) is at the receiving end, like Mother Teresa.  In this game, the spitting commenced the first time he knelt publicly in prayer.  I think that like Mother Teresa he thought the world would be open to the need.   However, after huddling together and coming up with their game plan, the world sent warriors out to throw comments, ridicules and a litany of profanities at him.  Like the baker, they spat.  Secondly, in many people's mind Tim was being shallow enough to beg for a win.  The baker was shallow enough to believe that his day old bread was not worthy of an orphan.

The differences (you are still with me, I knew you would be ::))

From my sideline writing here, as I see it, the difference is: This is NOT a one time event for Tim Tebow, like it was for Mother Teresa.  Furthermore this "spitting" might become copious in amount and ugly in appearance. Secondly, he is not in the bakery; with one person,the baker.   Oh if only Tim Tebow  could be that lucky!!!  Instead, he is in the modern day world, where one false move will be instantaneously everywhere.  Close your eyes (well, only one eye so you can still read this;)  Imagine if Twitter existed back in Mother Teresa's bakery scene and a patron recorded a possible human show of frustration.  What if Mother Teresa, maybe a raised eyebrow or uttered a snort in retort??  Oh my goodness!!! then this story of her wonderful GRACE to be humble would have forever been shadowed by the grayness of a small display of initial human frustration.  (sarcasm break....my hope is that it would become an example of momentary frustration which was overcome and won over by the grace of humility...but I think that part would have been edited, to increase sales).

GRACE, the Game Plan; My personal letter to Tim Tebow; and my reflection.

Dear Tim Tebow, 

Any coach in sports will tell you that you can’t win a game with Love and Grace!!  I am not a football coach but in the end are we  really talking about football?  I pray that you receive what ever they spit at you with the same grace as Blessed Mother Teresa received hers.  Continue to humbly wipe the remarks (the spit of the baker) from you.  Stand firm and strong in faith.  You are under a micromanaged microscope with super lenses!!  That simple fact is one of the very reasons why I pray for you and I do not envy you. If there is ever a time that you might show a human frustration and/or reaction to the constant barrage, it will be instantaneously, everywhere.  Maintain the the Grace Gameplan and in the end, Love, will be the the Victory. Everyone who thinks you are just here to win a football game, well they remind me of the baker, who thought Mother Teresa, was only there to give bread to the poor.   

Tim Tebow, Thank you for this season!!! Thank you for bringing back to football what I needed and missed.  I wanted my kids to love the game as much as I did.  I wanted my kids to see more than just a "player" on the field, I wanted them to see a PERSON!  You have been another person in my life who has shown me to always have hope, even in something as small as the joy of watching football with my family.  God Bless YOU!!! Michele